Do you get stuck in cycles of thought, worrying about the what ifs? Do you find yourself sinking down into a deep, dark hole of self-hatred, shame, or hopelessness? Do struggle to sleep, eat, or find enjoyment in life? Do your body and mind ache with tension? Do you wonder if the world would be better off without you in it?

You are not alone. You don’t need to suffer.

Anxiety can be understood as concern for the future, while depression can be understood as concern for the past. Both can be physically and emotionally painful. They can occur separately or together. They can come and go over the course of a lifetime. They can be painful, debilitating, and difficult to find relief from in positive ways. Some people try to cope with substances or emotional numbing through scrolling or bingeing (Netflix, food, shopping…). Some people lash out at love ones or disconnect from family and friends completely. Some people look perfectly fine on the outside and can go about their daily routine, while inside they are crumbling.

But you probably knew most of that.

Have you considered how anxiety and depression could be helpful? If you can listen carefully and get to know your anxious or depressed parts, you may be surprised what they are trying to tell you. If you’ve seen the recent Pixar move Inside Out 2, you’ll remember Riley’s anxious part who has good intentions to protect Riley, but goes about it in some pretty extreme ways. Anxiety and depression are parts of you that can have a helpful role; our job in therapy is to try to figure out how they are trying to help you and to get them to do it in less extreme ways.

How counselling can help

First, we will begin with how you are feeling. What’s going on inside? Outside? How are you coping?

We will examine the basics, making sure you are getting enough food, water, and rest. We will assess your current safety and security. If you need resources or supports from the community or from a doctor, we will take a look at those options. We’ll work to build some positive coping mechanisms to help get you through the day. I like to use somatic therapy and mindfulness-based therapy for this.

Next, we’ll go deeper. We will take a look at your life: your family, your culture, your identity, your history. We will understand the water you are swimming in. Some common cultural contributors to anxiety and depression include capitalism, individualism, perfectionism, sexism, racism, and other forms of discrimination. While there are some things we can’t change, we’ll help find your power and courage to change the things you can.

Counselling can help you to take a deep look at those parts of yourself that may be taking over in extreme ways. We’ll ask them if there’s another way they could help you. We’ll re-establish self-leadership, so you have power over these parts of you instead of them having power over you.

I do all this with a combination of Bowen Family Systems therapy, Internal Family Systems therapy (IFS), Acceptance and Commitment therapy (ACT), mindfulness-based cognitive therapy (similar to CBT), somatic therapy, and narrative therapy.

If you have or are experiencing anxiety and/or depression, I’m so very sorry. I’m here to walk through this experience with you. Please reach out, or book an appointment.